Lyrics

Pachibel's Tantrum

Yuletide is here
Loved ones draw near.
Happy and calm
Peace, love to all. (Repeat under next three verses)


How I wish I'd saved more money.
Now I've got this house filled up with
Family all expecting gifts of great extravagance, but...

There you go again, forecasting what we all
Will think of you for not having a grown-up job and
Buying little worthless trinkets.

Don't you know we love you
Even though you are a failure?
And it's good to have you home again.
Where are you going?
Why'd she leave the room?

Why do I bother coming home at all? (Calm down)
I wonder if I'm crazy or just masochistic? (Calm down)
What's the lure of being the black sheep? (Yuletide is here.)
Why do I worry what they think? (Don't be mad.)
I left home long ago (It's just)
Why don't they understand me? (Our family's)
I'm afraid I'll turn out just like they did. (Slightly stressed out.)

What? Oh my God! Uncle Charley's in the rifle cabinet
He's got a gun! Why don't you children run and grab it?
Oh get your Dad! He knows just how to handle him
Well, I'm going to bed, cause I think I feel a migraine coming on.

What? Oh my God? Cousin Ruth has gone and trimmed the tree
With her underwear! What will happen if the neighbors see?
Please get her arm! I think I've got her hair!
And no Charley, you'd better settle in this easy chair.

Get the laudanum.
Get the whiskey.
Get the laudanum
Get the whiskey.
Put your clothes on.
I want some laudanum.
Put the gun down
Please get the whiskey.

Yes get the laudanum
Yes get the whisky
Yes get the handcuffs
I'm feeling frisky.

Let's have a party
Yes, Uncle Charley
This is a treat for Cousin Ruth and you.

For Cousin Ruth and you,
And little sister too.
That's me (That's Me!)
Let's sit down by the tree.

There's snow sprayed on the lawn
And plastic reindeer on
The roof
And now we know the truth.

No need to succumb to pain
We'll ease our strain
With old-fashioned coping skills'
That were passed down by ancestors
Who valued their peace on earth.



©1993 Marilyn A. Rucker