Song Description

a breakdown of a Christmas light competition gone horribly astray

Lyrics

The War of the Lights

It starts after Thanksgiving dinner is done
The Joneses begin it cause they're number one
See Gwyn and Frank Jones
Their kids Mabel and Ed
Assembling a 20 foot Santa Claus sled.

But not to be outdone
The Wilsons are roused
Out come the manger, the reindeer, the cows.
The Jenkins audition for Santas at noon,
And all down the block
Dads are singing this tune:

One more light on the tree
My family, my decorators
Rally to me!
One more strand and we'll win
The war of the lights has begun once again!

Now as I just said the Jones are number one
Each year it's their house that's the most overdone
But this year their neightbors ambitions have grown
And now the whole hood is a light battle zone.

The Guptas put up
Several window displays
With robotic elves
Carving fruit and cheese trays
Toy polar bears
Skate the Mackenzies fish pond
And angels and muppets
Grace every front lawn

One more light on the tree
My family, my decorators
Rally to me!
One more strand and we'll win
The war of the lights has begun once again.

Last evening I stoood
On my street at midnight
Gazing up at the Jones new space satellite
It bombarded our homes
With a laser light show
With a soundtrack provided by Lerner and Lowe:

"All I want is a house somewhere.
Filled with displays from Builders' Square
And tinsel in my hair. Oh wouldn't it be loverly"


You win! cried the Guptas
You win! said the Wilsons
You win said the Jenkins, Mackenzies and Gibsons
But Frank Jones called out
It's not me my friends
That isn't my satellite
These were not my plans.

And just then we realized
We were not alone
The satellite was a great big U.F.O.

While we wondered of Roswell
The aliens came down
They took all our lights
And then beamed out of town

And shaken and worried and amazed and dismayed
My neighbors decided to end this charade.
They agreed to a limit:
One lights strand per home
lest aliens come back for more lights
Or to probe.

Just one light on the tree
My family my decorators rally to me.
All the best light's within
And Christmas time comes
Whether we lose or win.

Aliens: One more light on the tree
My comrades, my podmates
Oh rally to me.
One more strand and we'll win
' The war of the lights has begun once again.

©1997 Marilyn A. Rucker