Song Description

parody of "Twas the night before Christmas"

Lyrics

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was sturring not even a louse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that the welfare check soon would be there
The children were all tied up snug in their beds
I told them if they moved I'd smack their dang heads
I in my kerchief and ma in her cap
Got all hot and bothered and hopped the the sack
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter
I said"hold on baby I'll see whats the matter"
I through up the window, through out the shash
Looked on the lawn they were all talkin trash
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear
Was a red caddilac and eight guys drinkin beer
Then quicker than eagles his weirdo's they came
He screamed he shouted he called them by name
Come Manson Hinkley Donner and Blitzen Bill Hillary and Richard M Nixon
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall
Lets go in and rob this house ya'll
Just then I heard a crashing sound
In through the window he came with a bound
He was dressed all in leather and chains likea punk
His clothes were all tarnished with some kind of funk
He eyes were all red his chest was all hairy
I knew right then he was some kind of ......
He pulled out a gun and said"lie on the floor"
He slapped my wife and he called her a HO HO HO
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
Then he called me a name so I called him a jerk
Poked his finger up inside his nose
Pulled out a booger and wiped it on my clothes
He broke all my furniture he kicked the dog
He went to the fridge and he ate like a hog
He cleaned out our cubboads he cleaned out our bar
He took all our presents and packed him in his car
I heard him exclaim as he road out of sight
"Later homeboy we robbed your house tonight!"
Twas the night beforeChristmas
The night santa claus robbed our house