Lyrics

sittin at home all alone
listenin to the deathly silence
lost my girl lost my job
I'm not worth 2 cents
but I'm starin at that phone
my caller ID
because I know it won't be long
until she calls me

I know my telemarketer will be there
to brighten up my day
she'll have so many nice things to say
she'll take my cares away

she has such a nice voice
whether it's a magazine subscription
or a credit card consolidation
or her favorite subject of all
what do you currently pay for your long distance
I love that one

well sure enough she did call
and of course I led her on because I really needed
someone to talk to
then I started to feel bad when she began to beg
and well we were both gettin more and more frustrated
but then somethin happened
we kinda broke through to a new deeper level of real bonafide cosmic conversation
and time disappeared

we talked through the day
and then all through the night
we transcended the telephone wires
ooooooo ahhhhhhh

well the next day she called me from her home phone
to say she'd been fired from her job
I guess her boss wasn't too thrilled with a 24 hour phone call with no sale
i felt terrible I told her I was sorry for not buyin anything from her
but that I really was totally broke
she said that's okay
even if I had bought somethin I would have got fired for that 24 hour phone call anyway

she thanked me for our conversation
said it was worth her termination
well then I stuttered and said
w-w-would you go out with me
she said of course

well our relationship bloomed
and we spent many more magical 24 hours together
well one thing led to another
and I'm excited and proud to tell you that
well we just celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary
now I can tell you with absolute confidence that
even though I've never actually met her or seen her in person

I know my telemarketer will be there
to love me every day
and I love and cherish her
in every way
yeah ooooooo ooooooo hoooooo