Warren Hein

3 weeks ago

Who the hell are you Bob? Are you a paying member or a plant, Robert?
Bob Bentley is a quality writer. Period. Listening to your work leads me to believe you aren't.
Warren (look me up, I look forward to a review!

John Walradt

3 weeks ago

Bob, two things come to mind. First, the reason Bob Bentley, Warren Hein, Shelly Lee, and others are great songwriters is because they write from the grit and stuff of life's experiences, things that you may not be comfortable with, things that matter, perhaps the joys you forgot about. Their songs are not surface, they have richness and meaning. The second thing is that they can write great melodies that are unique and memorable. They know how to write a hit. I heard some of your songs. The melodies carry through well but are somewhat monochromatic meanderings that would be okay as album cuts, but nothing I would consider a single. Perhaps you're jealous?

Bob Juch

3 weeks ago

I have a problem with people giving platitudes to others who are in a bad way. "True Friend" hit my trigger. The music was great; I don't like the lyrics.

Since I can't comment on the song itself, here's my review of "I'm Taking Care of Me":

Since I can't add it to your song, here's my review of "I'm Taking Care of Me"

The song clearly conveys its message--taking care of oneself after a heartbreak. It's a powerful narrative of moving on and learning from the past.

The verses and the outro reinforce the central theme well. The bridge is a turning point in the story, indicating a shift in perspective.

The rhyme scheme is straightforward but could be more engaging. A slightly more complex rhyme scheme could add another layer of sophistication to the song.

Verse 1: The lines "That smile you hid behind / I thought I knew from other guys" could be more specific to evoke stronger emotions or images.

For example: "That crooked smile you always wore / I've seen it on some hearts I tore."
Verse 2: The line "I cried but those tears washed me clean" is strong but could be more poetic.

For example: "I cried, but tears became my stream."
Bridge: The imagery in the bridge is good but could be improved by being more vivid.

For example: "What a joke, you leaned for a kiss / I dodged away, you swung and missed."
Verse 3: The line "But no expensive sessions" could clarify what "sessions" means, such as therapy sessions or something else.

For example: "But no pricey therapy."

The song could benefit from a compelling instrumental or melodic bridge to accompany the lyrical bridge. This could serve as a musical metaphor for the transformation the singer is undergoing.

Use dynamic variations to emphasize emotional points. For example, a softer instrumental section during the bridge could heighten the drama.

Varying the vocal delivery between verses could add interest. Maybe the first verse is soft and reflective, the second is angrier, and the third is confident and optimistic.

The outro repetition of "I'm taking care of me" is empowering but could become even more impactful with a background chorus or vocal harmony to underline the sentiment.

Bob Juch

3 weeks ago

John Walradt, if you read my bio, you will see I'm a poet turned songwriter. The lyrics are the most important thing to me. I tell stories.

I was a decent musician, but my hands are too crippled now. I tell the musicians what chords I want and give them performance notes, but the rest is up to them. Some of the songs I uploaded are the first ones I created. Three of the subsequent ones are currently in multiple Top Ten lists here. There's no jealousy going on.

You say, "They write from the grit and stuff of life's experiences, things that you may not be comfortable with, things that matter." If you listened to my songs, you would have seen that's exactly what I do, even though I use a female singer.

Warren Hein

3 weeks ago

Hi Bob,
I've been writing poetry literally since 4th grade. My songs are a total picture, similar to each of our lives. Your lyrical suggestions are frankly awkward and do nothing to improve the song, which again is a painting of an entire story. One either likes the "pictures" painted or not. But like a well crafted song or "painting", one can't rewrite or paint over a well crafted work.
But I appreciate you listening, I have many more. I'm anxious to hear your thoughts.
Warren

Bob Juch

3 weeks ago

I invest in fine art that I wouldn't ever hang on the walls of my house.

De gustibus non est disputandum.

Bob Bentley

3 weeks ago

Well that's all sorted then.
You haven't read my comment Bob. I don't expect platitudes and I don't really care whether you like my song, or not. What I do care about is people who are seemingly unable to be encouraging and constructive.
BTW, if you liked the music you might just have found something more positive to say than "The mix is good"?
I'm grateful to my friends for rallying around but I fear we're all wasting our time.
Good luck.

John Walradt

3 weeks ago

Being a melody person, not a poet but a storyteller, I'd have to say that words and music work together to create and express the emotional content of a song that gives it a deeper human meaning. Aside from all else, I'm honestly sorry of the condition of your hands. I wish that age didn't come with maladies and deteriorations. But the creative spirit in us won't be stopped! I do agree with Bob Bentley on what we are here for at Broadjam. With that I'll stop here. Best to you.

Bob Juch

2 weeks ago

I just uploaded three new songs. Please check them out.

Bob Juch

3 weeks ago

Nothing about it is Country.

Shelly Lee

3 weeks ago

Hard to find the right genre sometimes for a song on here. Will think on it. Thanks for your input.