I can hear that this is completely heart-felt and sincere, but it is not poetry, it is versification and not even original. The lines are quotes from other, earlier poems and songs in praise of America. The reading is also sincere and genuine, but the voice is flat and lacking in expression. I can't be more positive, I regret, I can only say that I am sure you did your best.

I like your patriotism. The bass in your voice is nice, just work on finding a mic that can capture it a little better. You can also EQ it a bit to try to get rid of some of the nasal tone.

What's your point?