Song Description
Hillbilly shopping...
| Song Length |
3:15 |
Genre |
Country - General |
| Lead Vocal |
Male Vocal |
Language |
English |
| Era |
2000 and later |
| |
Lyrics
"The Family That Fights at Walmart"
By Yves Stilmant © 2025
Verse 1
We rolled in six deep in a rusty old van,
Horse tied up to a cart return stand,
Gramps yellin' loud with a bag of beef jerky,
Can't find his teeth -- things got murky.
The hound dog's howlin' at aisle number 4,
And squirrels got loose from the box near the door.
Verse 1B
Cousin Earl's yellin' 'bout two-for-one beans,
Mama's in house shoes throwin' baked sardines,
The twins are wrestlin' in the ice cream aisle,
A raccoon in my coat just cracked a smile.
Pre-Chorus
We ain't here for trouble, just pickles and snacks,
But somehow we always wind up on our backs...
Chorus
We're the family that fights at Walmart,
Throwin' flip-flops near the deli cart.
If the cops show up, we scatter like flies,
Hide in the tents and the ribbed tube slides.
We love each other but we can't behave,
Gramps lost his teeth in the microwave!
We ain't polite but we sure leave a mark --
We're the family that fights at Walmart.
Verse 2A
Uncle Joe's flirtin' with the checkout gal,
She's got mace and a bat from sporting goods aisle.
A squirrel stole my wallet, raccoon took my keys,
Horse pooped a gift near the fake palm trees.
Verse 2B
The manager's stressin', called aisle lockdown,
Gramps found his teeth -- then dropped 'em back down.
We're banned again, but we'll sneak through the rear,
'Cause cousin Clyde's birthday's comin' up next year.
Pre-Chorus
We came for socks and maybe a fan,
Left with duct tape, beans, and a lifetime ban...
Chorus
We're the family that fights at Walmart,
Got banned so we shop in the parking lot.
We grill in the bed of a rusted Ford,
Sellin' tube socks we can't afford.
Love us or not, we've got hillbilly charm,
And Gramps got dentures from the lost-n-found arm.
We're loud, proud, and kinda off the chart --
We're the family that fights at Walmart.
Bridge (with guitar solo)
[Solo section -- twangy, chaotic, maybe a harmonica break too]
Horse kicks a cart, raccoon steals a pie,
Squirrel's wearin' lipstick, don't ask why...
Final Chorus
We're the family that fights at Walmart,
We'd behave -- but we ain't that smart.
They lock the doors when they see our van,
We wave real nice... then ruin their plan.
Yeah we ain't right, but we sure got heart --
We're the family that fights at Walmart.