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What started as a romping bar boogie took on a tasteful swing in the studio, so a lyric re-write upgraded the imagery a bit.
Everybody knows someone who, otherwise perfectly rational, goes insane under the influence of tequila. This song is a warning against instigating that behavior, and some explanations about what happens if . . .
You can give her scotch; gin or vodka, too.
But here's one thing you better don't do.
Don't give her tequila. 'Cause if you give her tequila,
You can bet you'll regret you met.
You'll be looking for a safety net.
Now if you like the lady frisky and fine
Be quick and stick to whiskey and wine.
Don't give her tequila, 'cause I'll guarantee ya -
Your good times shot down in flames.
What a shame.
Have you heard that story 'bout Jeckyll and Hyde?
You give her one shot, you're in for a ride.
She's a hair trigger on the Mexican booze;
A time bomb tickin' with a real short fuse.
If you give her tequila, maybe next time you see her
She'll be dancin' in her birthday suit,
Daring all the cops to shoot. Whoa.
Jack, I'm talking about a psychotic reaction.
Her cerebral cortex doing contractions, y'understand.
Synapses Collapses, and her logic snap-ses. You dig?
She'll nurse a martini or snifter of brandy,
And never get saucy, bossy, or randy
till you give her tequila. Man, tequila.
You flip a switch in her brain and she's off
Like a runaway train.
She can drive fine on a six-pack of beer.
Walk a straight line on everclear.
But don't give her tequila. 'Cause if you give her tequila
Say good-bye. Oh, why would you give her tequila?
No, don't give her tequila. Don't you give her tequila.
Well, whatever you do, Man, I'm telling you:
You can bet you'll regret you met,
And you'll be working without a net.
So, Friend, never forget: Don't give her tequila.
Man, don't give that girl none of that cactus juice.