Story Behind The Song

Written with my late friend, Tommy Tyson, it's the BAD SANTA of songs. Santa may have some faults that we need to know about.

Song Description

Written with my late friend, Tommy Tyson, it's the BAD SANTA of songs. This is the updated version of 2020.

Lyrics

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
music and words by Tommy Tyson and Sam Cooper © 2008
updated 2020
615-469-4067 jericat@yahoo.com.com
(BALLAD INTRO)
THERE ARE EASTER EGGS IN SPRINGTIME,
THANKSGIVING TURKEY'S GREAT,
AND FIREWORKS LIGHT THE SKY,
ON THE FOURTH OF JULY,
BUT DECEMBER BRINGS US MORE,
THAN ICICLES AND SNOW,
DAD WANTED A DOG AND A GARDEN TOOL,
SO SANTA BROUGHT HIM A BITCH AND A HOE.

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB,
IT'S ALL OVER CNN, THAT THEY PUT HIM THERE AGAIN,
SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
HE'LL GET OUT IN 30 DAYS - PIMPING BARBIE FROM HIS SLEIGH,

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
HE GOES FLYING THROUGH THE SKY -- 'CAUSE THE DRUGS GET HIM SO HIGH,
SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
HE BOUGHT COCAINE FROM AN ELF, DID AN 8-BALL BY HIMSELF,

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
HE'S HIDING FROM SOME DUDES, WHO HE RIPPED OFF FOR SOME LUDES,
SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
WE'D HAVE HAPPY GIRLS AND BOYS, IF HE DIDN'T SELL THEIR TOYS,

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
HE'S A TOTAL CHRISTMAS MESS - HE EATS PROZAC, HE'S DEPRESSED,
SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
THE FAA GAVE THIS GUY , THE WORLD'S FIRST FLYING D.U.I.,

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
WHEN HE NEEDS SOME CHRISTMAS CHEER - HE SMOKES CRACK AND GUZZLES BEER,
SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
HE STILL GETS IT UP BECAUSE - VIAGRA WORKS WITH MRS. CLAUS,

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
USED TO HAVE KIDS OF HIS OWN, BUT THEY DISAPPEARED WHILE HE WAS STONED,
SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
HE CAN'T HAVE MORE KIDS WE FEAR, CAUSE HE JUST COMES ONCE YEAR (...AND THAT'S DOWN THE CHIMNEY),

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
WHEN THE CAROLERS STROLL AROUND -- HE'LL BURGLARIZE THEIR TOWN,
SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
NOT AS BAD AS OTHER YEARS -- WHEN HE WAS THERE WITH BRITNEY SPEARS,

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
HE'S STILL DOING HEAVY DRUGS--CHASING HOOKERS WITH BIG JUGS,
SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
CLAIMS HE SHIT-FACED DRUNK SINCE SOMEONE ELECTED TRUMP,

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
HE CAN'T FEEL HIS FINGER TIPS -- WHEN HE'S TAKING ACID TRIPS,
SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
BRINGING TOYS TO EVERY CHILD, HE'S BECOME A PEDOPHILE,

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
YULETIDE WAS NO LONGER FUN - WE CAUGHT HIM LOADING UP HIS GUN,
SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB
EVERYBODY KNOWS HE LIED -- NOW HE'S TALKING SUICIDE,

SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB,
BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE A DIME BAG?
THE NORTH POLE'S BECOME HIS DRUG LAB,
NOW SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB.
NOW SANTA'S BACK IN REHAB.
HE'S GOT JINGLE BALLS.