Song Description

Just a rant about 'healthy' food

Lyrics

I'm Sick of Being Healthy -- Joe Kretschmer, (C)1997

Well, I stopped off at the fast food place to get myself some eats.
A big ol' burger with mayonnaise with a huge slab of cheese.
The man at the counter looked at me and said "You should try our new low-fat!"
I looked him right in the eye and said "What the hell is that?"

[Bridge]
It's a whole new sandwich, low-calorie, with a multi-grain bun totally fat-free.
Neatly trimmed, not a bit of waste. It's got everything...but taste!

Now the doctor says to eat vegetables, especially those that are green.
Broccoli, spinach and asparagus' gonna keep us fit and lean.
Well, I say eatin' stuff like that'll take the wind right outta your sails.
If God wanted us to eat rabbit food, He'd have given us cottontails!

[Chorus] (spoken) Now listen here...
Right there in front of that TV set is where I'm gonna park my rear.
I'll open up a bag of potato chips and a cold six-pack of beer.
I'm gonna eat some greasy sausages and a big old sticky bun.
'Cause I'm sick of being healthy, and I'm dyin' to have some fun.

You can?t eat anything any more, no ice cream, steak or cheese.
Anything that tastes any good will clog up your arteries.
Well, just between you and me, I think that?s a bunch of bull.
We?re all gonna die anyway, might as well do it with our bellies full!

[Second Bridge]
You can't get mad; you sure can't smoke; passionate sex will give you a stroke.
To make a man healthy, wealthy and wise, ya gotta get up early and exercise!

Now there?s a guy in our neigborhood who?s always on the go.
I can see him out my window, joggin? in the rain and snow.
He says "If you'll only run with me, in a few weeks you'll feel fine."
I told him to take his jogging shoes and stick 'em where the moon don't shine! [chorus]