Song Description

A song about being proud of what makes you different and unusual

Lyrics

Hmm....Is that my note?
Ready .....Sing........

Have you been
Sitting there and fearing that the noise that you've been hearing
is belonging to an oboe or bassoon?
Or just maybe you've been guessin that I'm doin my impression of a
Muppet or perhaps of a cartoon?
Do ya get the funny feelin I've been sniffin at the helium
Or could there be a clothes-pin on my nose?
I have nothing more to say than to say "my name is Jay"
And responding to the query that you pose, The answer is

Yes, This is my real voice, I'm not just pretending, I swear that it's true.
Yes, This is my real voice, I don't have a cold, I don't own a kazoo.
Please pardon my timbre, forgive my nasality,
And if you would kindly remember....Nobody else sounds like me!

(Let me tell you a little story, something that happened to me when I was about 13 or so.)

My mother
Thought that God had mocked her, so he took me to the doctor
When I didn't quite respond to puberty
She said "Doc, it gets my goat, he sounds just like Truman Capote,
And I know he didn't get that voice from me!"
It was quite the little drama when the doctor told my mama that it
Wasn't just the buzzin of a bee.
I said "Mom, go get your purse, it's not a curse, it could be worse,
and I think I owe you no apology!" Instead I said

Yes, This is my real voice, I know I don't sound like the rest of the boys.
Yes, This is my real voice, it isn't my tonsils or my adenoids.
Nor is it my septum, dismiss this hypothesis,
And let me correct your perception....Nobody else sounds quite like this!

But oh to be like other men are....If I could be a sing-ah like Placido Doming-ah
Then I would surely be a tenor...If only Pavarotti would lend his epiglotti
or donate one amazing vocal chord, then I would have the voice the world adored
And mother would be saying "Thank the Lord!" (Wait, it gets worse)






But ah, my father had the answer...he secretly was wishin I'd be a politician
But mom insisted.."He's a dancer!" And so halfway to meet her, he put me in the theatre,
And now this comedy's my craft....And God knows, we all could use a laugh!
So let me set your mind at ease about my comic vocalese, you see
I only aim to please.....and not just to be strange........
And now, for the key change.....!

I'll sing some
Songs with lots of patter while I "chatter chatter chatter" and I
Blithely exercise my sonar skills.
I will have and occupation as a voice for animation
While awaiting the return of Vaudeville.
With a little vocal trickin I could sound just like a chicken,
But "a chicken's only good for consume...
Whereupon" the day will come when they will offer any sum
Just to hear me talkin funny in my way....and then I will say....I WILL SAY

YES! This is my real voice, it's special, unique, it's a voice all my own.
Yes, This is my real voice, it's clear and distinct when I answer the phone ..(Hello!)
If I had my 'druthers, I's simply suffice to say that
This is a voice like none other, and
Nobody else, no nobody else.....
Nobody else sounds quite like Jay...........
And that's Okay!

Copyright 1993 by Keith Thompson