Song Description
A humorous, politically-incorrect tale of love and seduction involving a large woman named Bertha Baker, Verta-Breaker.
| Song Length |
3:28 |
Genre |
Unique - Unclassified |
| Tempo |
Medium (111 - 130) |
Lead Vocal |
Male Vocal |
| Subject |
Dysfunctional Relations |
Language |
English |
Lyrics
She came on to me like a speeding semi
With a driver amped on whites
She looked just like an aging boxer
Who?d lost too many fights
She was sipping rum and diet cola,
A waste of aspartame
As her barstool creaked a desperate protest
She said ?lover, what?s your name??
Bertha Baker, verta-breaker
Bent me near in two
She outweighed me so she made me
Do what lovers do
Her trailer was also a double wide
A decade past its prime
She took me to her antique mattress
To have an old-fashioned time
Our courtship lasted that whole weekend
It was a cellulitic ride
Then I saw her gun and now I?ve got
A bouncing, blushing bride
Bertha Baker, verta-breaker
Bent me near in two
She outweighed me so she made me
Say I?d say ?I do?
She likes it that I chew tobacco
She passes me a pinch when we kiss
Her snoring nearly cracks the plaster
I?ve gotta find a way out of this
Bertha Baker, verta-breaker
Bent me near in two
She outweighed me so she made me
Do what lovers do
Bertha Baker, verta-breaker
Bent me near in two
She outweighed me so she made me
Say I?d say ?I do?