Lyrics

I had a speaking role in the extended cut of a snuff film
Of a hack community actor dying of cancer anyway
It was all humane and legal in certain states
I appeared on screen to read his living will and estate
The cast and crew packed up and flew to Cannes for the debut
They were lost en route, never heard from again

I alone am the eighth degree of Kevin Bacon
His office won't stop calling, offering million-dollar roles
I could have taken
But I declined
Because it would make me less than the eighth degree of Kevin Bacon

My client was a seven, his sole connection a six
A snowboarder trying to make it pro, willing to take a risk
She dropped from the helicopter down to the powder below
After the avalanche all they found was her cameraphone
The footage got a posthumous release
With an intro by an uncle now deceased

My first link couldn't hurt me, and my second's behind bars
My third quit cold turkey, but my fourth was still getting parts
She had an audition with Zero but got sick the night before
They kept trying to reschedule, I thought he'd let it go
They say arsenic never leaves a trace
But I got caught with egg on my face
Now in prison
It's a dubious distinction
But it's still pretty rare to be the sixth degree of Kevin Bacon

Now the Oracle has spoken, and her prophecy is grim
The hub has seven acolytes, each eight degrees from him
You can't unmake a link, but you can lower their score
So an agent with my skills would be worth a mil or more
Wouldn't you say,
Kevin Bacon?