Story Behind The Song

As a wildlife photographer, I love to photograph shore birds. But they can seem a bit intimidating, at times. So I imagined a fellow who is not at all confident in the presence of large birds.

Song Description

The song plays upon the fears of a birdwatcher who, upon volunteering for the annual bird count, discovers that he's petrified at the idea of being alone out there with large birds eyeing him. The tour de force listing the various types of birds that seem to be after him is the heart of the song.

Lyrics

The Audubon Society has sent me on a quest
To write down all the species that I see.
And since I live in Florida where birdwatching is best,
This tally should not tax my expertise.

I'm wearing my binoculars, my Sibley's at my side.
Primed and ready for the count as I might be.
I'm crouching in a mangrove bush at just about low tide.
But I'm beginning to believe that lethal birds are stalking me.

Oh, yes, these Florida birds are frightful as can be.
Including osprey with incredibly sharp beaks.
I'd disavow this paranoia, but large birds are stalking me,
With designs upon my edible physique.

I hear a little warbler chirping as I peer into the mist.
He's hidden in a thick palmetto stand.
If I could see his yellow rump, then I could add him to my list.
But my pen's begun to tremble in my hand.

Because these Florida birds are frightful as can be.
I'm told the egrets have excessively sharp beaks.
I'd disavow this paranoia, but large birds are stalking me,
With designs upon my edible physique.

Bridge: If you've ever heard a great blue heron growl before she lands,
You'll appreciate my plight here in the wild.
For every bluebird with a cheerful note or piper on the sand,
There's a winged avenger circling with a vulture's ugly smile.

And so I grabbed my little notebook and my birdy guide and fled,
But not before I tripped and skinned my knee.
I told the doctor not to waste his time, the problem's in my head:
A little wren who keeps on whispering that his friends are watching me.

Oh, yes, these Florida birds are fightful as can be.
I've mentioned ospreys, herons, egrets with their dirty little secrets.
There are loggerheaded shrikes who'd post my head upon a spike.
Catbirds, snipes and long-tailed jaegers, woodpeckers in every flavor.
Whimbrels, limpkins, ruddy turnstones, all too eager to pick my bones.
I wish I'd never joined the Audubon Society,
'Cause I can't shake this creepy feeling that the birds are watching me.