A beautiful intro. Good lyrics that the vocalist delivers well. Pro production. Well done
once in a 'blue moon' someone so properly original comes along. Bill Take might be an old-timer yet he still has what it takes to tickle the listener's imagination.
It goes without saying that one would be hard pressed to envision writing a song touching on a more difficult and fraught topic. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), unlike as with more familiar lyrical subjects -- love and happiness, loneliness and social alienation are some biggies -- I and perhaps most of us lack a similar experience as a reference point. Nevertheless, guilt and dissimulation are not things with which we, as innately flawed creatures, are altogether unfamiliar -- both as subjects and as observers of others.
The lyrics here are very pointed, the thoughts and feelings expressed are quite raw and naked, and they most certainly invite existential and moral introspection. This piece won't be on Billboard's Hot 100 anytime soon; notwithstanding, it is absolutely worthy of attention and further reflection, IMHO.
Bill, you offer this as a scratch version with a solicitation for suggestions for improvement. Having a fairly good sense of your music and your talents, I'm confident that you already have a pretty good idea of what could be done here. I am therefore reluctant, even unable, to offer a pointed critique -- but I will offer this: Just take care not to dilute the darkness in the dissonances, and in the keyboard and guitar sounds generally. Perhaps adding a subtle ambient 'pad' of some sort strategically in the background may help, one that somehow conveys the seriousness of the underlying emotion that animates this piece.
Hmmm... That's it for now. All the best as always, Bill. I genuinely appreciate your work. It challenges.
Tony
Hi Bill. Firstly I love this kind of rock/jazz crossover stuff. The song has a Steely Dan vibe, which is a good thing, but it also means that the instrumentation has to be watertight, if not airtight! I liked the piano/keyboard parts in particular. I would reduce the number of guitar parts and give those guitar parts which remain a cleaner less distorted sound. I enjoyed your vocal performance very much. I like the chords and melody a lot. There is some nice percussion on this as well.
I love this composition Bill, like interesting chords and you certainly have those in spades. Like the jazzy feel and the melody fits the subject matter very well. You get the sense of agitation, of something not quite right, the dichotomy between the guitar and the vocals works very well, there's tension there and it works all very well. It does sound like a first draft musically, its very much at the initial stage of development but you have a lot to work with here. I can see where you're going with it and I think this could be a "killer" tune. Sorry for the bad humour, I just had to go there. Hope this tune is cathartic and gets you over and obviously very difficult situation. Keep on doing your thing, like what you do very much.
Don
Groove Fondue
We did like the specific instrumental parts, just didn't quite mesh together on the instrumentation,arrangement and mix as well as the master.
Reminds us of the group named Spandal Ballet to some degree!
Let us know if you need help with the mix and or the master once you re-record the parts you mentioned and we would be glad to help in any way that we can,let us know!
This song has great potential as the emotion, passion and message definitely translates!
Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to review!
LC Team