Story Behind The Song

This is probably the hardest and yet the most necessary song I've ever written. How do you put into words and melody the deep despair that comes from losing a child? I have always expressed myself through poetry or songs - it's the only way I know. I originally recorded this song as part of a project I was working on with Bill McKinney and Pat Schrein, two Detroit-area-based musicians. When I re-recorded it for the "Life of My Own Choosing" album, I could barely get through the song even though years had passed. Many of my friends and family members have said they can't listen to the song at all or, if they do, they are overcome with grief, remembering the heartache of that time. I believe this is a song that any parent who has lost a child can relate to so, as hard as it was to write and to sing, the song insisted on being created.

Song Description

The death of a child is unfathomable

Lyrics

CLOSE YOUR EYES (AND GO TO SLEEP)

V1: From the look of the place and the look on your face
All the signs said I had to let you go
Still I clung to the hope that you'd toss me the rope
So I could bring you safe into the fold
I kicked, and I screamed, and I begged, and I pleaded
And dug my heels in so deep
Still you went on before, leaving me on the shore
Crying, close your eyes and go to sleep


V2: So you live, so you learn, trying your best to turn
Every loss into some kind of gain
This I know in my mind while in my heart it's hard to find
Any solace to assuage this pain
Still I watch and I wait and I look and I listen
For some sign of life I can keep
To remind me somehow of the love that allowed me to say
Close your eyes and go to sleep


V3: Shouldn't there be a law that says
No child can go before Mommy and Daddy leap?
Still you went on before, leaving me on the shore
Crying, close your eyes and go to sleep
Darling, close your eyes and go to sleep